Saturday, May 24, 2008

so sketchy

I've been playing with cards today using a bunch of different sketches. The first one is from Ally runs the blog and the sketches rawk! This card is for the May 1st card sketch. I did a lo based off of this card sketch too. Here that is. I am seriously in LOVE with this page!

I have more cards to upload but I need to feed Sophie real quick. I'll update this post later tonight with the great cards I made using the May Addict Card Kit "Totally Amp'd" its seriously awesome!

50 posts and your questions answered

This is my 50th post! How cool is that! Today has been a pretty darn good day! I got our room almost totally cleaned....I'm posting pics when I'm done cuz a few people don't believe me when I say we are all squished into one room!

I was working on the info for the DT call at Addicted Scrappers today and it's gonna be tons of fun! Keep you eyes peeled for that info! Scrap 4 Life.....Jodie is givin the DT awesomeness this month! we are getting 40% off PLUS $10 bucks to spen! How awesome is that! My wishlist should be getting smaller but everytime I buy stuff it gets big again! lol!

I've been playing with my guest designer stuff for paper popsicles and I'm having fun. I altered 2 journals, one gift card box, and have done one...almost 3 pages so far! Thanks Melissa! Speaking of Paper Popsicles check out the clearance section.....its on SALE! How awesome is that!!! Check it out at Check out the half sheets section too! and my personal fave....the Stamps and Theme kits! You really can't go wrong in this store!

Ok so now to answer the big kahuna. I have gotten a ton of emails........I SERIOUSLY didn't realize anyone read my blog! lol! But people wanna know whats wrong, why am I depressed. So to answer it....It's really quite simple but I have to tell the story for you to understand. So here goes!

Last year in August my dad flew up to MD and got James and I and drove us back to Tucson. Sean had been working long horrible hours and was gone 16-18 hours a day. Going back and forth on missions and what not. So I found out I was pregnant with Sophie and the ish hit the fan! I was freaking out wondering how I was going to take care of both of them, essentially alone. Hence the reason my dad came. We were having a bit of a marital crisis at the time so that didn't help matter at all. In September Sean and I had a REAL conversation for what seemed like the first time in years. We decided that it was important to both of us to work out our issues and live a long and happy life together. So he came home in November for Sophie's birth and stayed for a month and it was wonderful. We knew that everything would be ok because we would be moving back in together in November when he changed duty stations. Well we found out last month that he wouldn't be coming home. He was told that he'd be getting deployed for 6 months. Well last week we found out that he'd be gone for a whole freaking year. Let me tell you that could send any sane woman into depression. It sucks and it's hard to deal with the fact that we will only spend about 2 months together over the span of 2 years. It kills me. Breaks my heart because I will miss him. Breaks my heart because James will miss him. But I think the biggest reason is because Sophie will be almost 2 before he gets back. Everytime I think about that I breakdown and cry and cry. I will do everything in my power to make sure she knows who he is but I am so afraid that she is going to miss out on creating that father/daughter bond. Everyone tells me that she'll be fine and she'll adjust when he gets home and she won't remember it at all. But I am so scared. Terrified really.

So thats the story. Really nothing exciting but thats whats goin on in my world. Thanks for all the emails and for the happy thoughts. Here are a few pictures to make you smile!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

i only

have one thing to say today.

Depression sucks. but not knowing how to figure a way out sucks even more.

I saw a quote today that said

"I like to walk in the rain because no one can see me crying"

yup that pretty much sums it up!